I got a D in Ms. Savage’s Grade 6 Family Studies Class (also known as Home Ec). I suppose this was the first sign that my destiny was not to involve being a successful homemaker. The day I remember clearest about that class was one in which we learned to make coffee and tea. Yes, a good homemaker must know such things. The dark brew had me at the first sip. Both the deliciously bitter taste and the energy that it gave to a youngin’ already exhausted from food allergies.
That was it. Though I didn’t start drinking my beloved brew daily at that point, as soon as I got to high school three years later, coffee became my daily love.
So here I am, over a decade later, and the word ‘coffee’ has been the first thing I think about upon waking, the first thing I did each morning and a continued part of my daily functioning. I have barely missed a day of caffeination in all that time. That is except for the time I bought a bag of coffee and didn’t notice till it was almost done that it was decaf.
And then this October, I just stopped. I wanted to know what my energy level really is, without the masking of fatigue by coffee. I wanted to enjoy my coffee, not be addicted to it. I wanted to see if it actually could quit! Most importantly, I wanted to observe the food I put in my body and the energy (or lack there of) that it brought forth. I wanted to know what my body had to say.
The first week felt rather reminiscent to the days of quitting smoking (aka bitchy). I should mention I took the ‘harm reduction’ approach and switched to tea at first. The saviour of my first week minus coffee was getting soy-tea-latte’s….so yummy (also called a London Fog).
It has been over a month now. I still miss it. I’m not too sure if and when I’m going back. Coffee is my first love, but herbal tea is a healthier relationship. I expect to sit before once again…but this time savour it, breate it in, sip it. I don't want it to be a crutch, to hide my exhaustion. I don’t want to use it to provide false energy, I want to enjoy it as an ancient brew, made by experts in the trade of roasting beans.
Leaving any addiction behind isn’t easy. But with each departure I feel so much more in tune with my body.
Now there is room in the first few minutes of each day to think of something other than coffee. I now spend these waking moments either contemplating my dreams or listening to what my intuition has to say about the coming day.
